Under The “Influence”…

Over it, perhaps…

I remember the day I entered the matrix. It was a cold winter day in 2007.  As I sat in my fully furnished 2 bedroom apartment tucked in the woods of somewhere South Jersey, I did it.  I created a kitschy screen name uploaded a few pics and so it began.  It’s been 13-14 years now and I think I’m over it.

As strange and nonsensical as it sounds, I’ve never really been a people “watcher” in the voyeuristic fashion donned by these now famed platforms.  Yes, I consumed “content” but it was mostly that produced by major (and minor) production houses.  Carefully selected, compiled, and presented for mass consumption with some level of order, consistency, curation and intent.  Magazines, yes I lived for magazines.

While I’m overly under the “influence” hence the title of this whatever this is, I am beyond impressed and impressioned by those who’ve mastered the art of storytelling and styling to the tune of mass consumption, conversion, and all consuming content that literally sucks you in.  But even that too, at this juncture of my  life, is a lot.

I actually lovvvve scrolling.  But it’s become a default to doing.  And for someone that’s been about “the work” for so long, it’s a lullaby.  I’ve been sleeping on myself.  Consuming creative things is not the same as creating, and I miss the latter.  I’m not blaming the matrix, but you’ve got to be able to name your addiction to get over it.  

And so, in true unintended dramatic fashion, I am confessing my sin[cere love] and giving the “it’s not you, it’s me” to the one that’s occupied my hands and sometimes my heart for the last 13-14 years.  I’m under the influence and over it.  

Ima head out for a bit. 

(Gets invited to the “Clubhouse.” Creates a profile, just in case.)

The “thugs” invade the White House (that was designed by a Black man) without issue. ***soul stirs***

Walks off, at least for a moment.